I sold my first Halloween story today, which is a good incentive to get cracking with the one I’ve been laboring through now for about 2 weeks. It seemed like such a good idea when I started it, but I lost the thread of it due to Boy 2’s summer program ending and everything else. But I am going to try and continue with Mr Big Bird tonight, having such interesting books on the go certainly doesn’t help either.
I went to King Soopers again today and it was late afternoon and Boy 2’s meds were wearing off he was all over the place and took a big bite out of a nectarine. There is a new clerk who yesterday remarked to me about Boy 2 “well, he certainly doesn’t say much.” I agreed and left it at that. Today as luck would have it, I got this clerk again and she was staring at Boy 2 so hard she could barely check out the groceries. Finally she says, “I am finding it very hard not to be nosy.” I said, “Are you?” and assumed a baffled expression. Unable to simply shut up she indicated Boy 2 and said “does he have a diagnosis of something??”
I was VERY tempted to say, “no – whatever do you mean?” but just said he had autism. I can certainly deal with stares and curiousity and don’t mind a polite question asked straight out, but I found this person very rude and annoying. Oh well, home now and it has been a good day overall, I just have to crack on with that Halloween story, especially if they are reading already.
Well, today has been a mixed bag. To start off positively, Boy 2 has stopped banging his head and the bruises have faded. Miss W has finished reading the latest Warriors epic and is enjoying Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life, which is the book set by her summer program. She hasn’t raved about it, but is often reading it and I have heard no bitter complaints so I assuming it isn’t ‘stupid.’ Boy 1 is behaving very well.
Today started well with chat with my mother, but then I realized the memory card for my digital camera had gone missing and I saw red. Suspect Boy ‘don’t blame me’ 1 is the culprit but no proof. Gamely went off to King Soopers, came home and started cooking barbecued chicken, which I was really looking forward to afetr a week on my diet with so little meat. But something strange happened – as the house filled with the smell of chicken (which normally I’d have found very appetizing) I became very nauseous. The smell just seemed too rich. Chicken looked succulent and delicious when I staggered to oven and pulled it out, trying not to retch, children said it was delicious and Boy 2 had 2 helpings, but I could only manage about 2 mouthfuls with my salad. I did, however, enjoy a slice of the cherry cheesecake Boy 1 had whipped up!
Clean up was no fun. For several weeks now the dishwasher has been just roaring when I start it up, so loudly that I try to start it before I leave the house because the noise it makes is so abysmal. Then a few days ago when I emptied it I saw that it had not drained completely and there were a few inches of dirty water sitting in the bottom, at this point I decided I wouldn’t use it any longer – it has never performed very well anyhow. But today after scrubbing the dirty chicken BBQ pans I decided to try and investigate and scooped dirty water from dishwasher (it smelled horrible) and checked for blockages and then I ran it. It just made a few tiny little beeps. It is broken. I have informed Boy 1 and Miss W that they are now responsible for cleaning every cup and plate they use. Darn!
Just kidding. Last week, I went to see the Alpacas. Now you’re all probably wondering, “what’s so special about a nerdy llama” WELL I’ll show you.
Alpacas, first seen around Alpaca Island(now England), soon multiplied all over the world at alarming rates. Alpacas plunged the world into chaos, at least until the British, related to Alpacas, fought back. Soon, the Alpacas signed the Mammarian Treaty of 1968(when the war broke out).
As Alpacas began to evolve and learn the ways of their human masters, a new value of Alpacas was discovered. In June of 1974, an Alpaca farmer began to discover that his rebellious Alpaca, Benson, began to wear ludicrous hairstyles. This included draping the hair over one eye, wearing dreadlocks, and sometimes even the ridiculous ‘beehive’ haircut(It is for this reason that many believe that Benson may have been homosexual). Outraged, Benson’s farmer shaved all his hair off. However, by the time the farmer had gotten off his ass to preform the tedious task, there was so much Alpaca fur that it cluttered up the whole farm. In the end, he decided to sell the massive amount of hair to some investors(who then decided to invest in BP, but, in light of recent events, ran like little girls). The investors immediately cashed in on the massive amount of Alpaca hair and gave the farmer no credit at all(although he did receive $5 million to keep his mouth shut). And thus, the Alpaca Fur Rush began.
The Alpaca Fur Rush was so nightmarishly brutal that it will just be left out. Let’s just say that it plunged West Verginia and Texas into becoming developing countries.
ALPACAS VS. LLAMAS: WHAT THE HELL IS THE DIFFERENCE?!?!?!
As Alpacas progressed through the 1980’s, their style changing with the humans, a new enemy began to emerge; Llamas.
Llamas are bigger than Alpacas by a staggering 500 feet (:o). They are more aggressive than their smaller predecessors. In 1984, a Llama gang was formed and made their presence known by secretly planning an attack on their human captors. While the farmer, Jessica, was off milking his cows, he had convienently left his double-barreld 240-gauge shotgun(which is a lot, believe me) out where the Llamas could gain access to it. The head Llama, Bernard, came up with a plan. The plan is too complicated to say right now, but let’s just say that the blast of the shotgun was so powerful that Farmer Jessica was annihilated, and his family was scraping bits of him off the ceiling, wall, and floor. Oh well. At least they would have something to eat for Thanksgiving(Jessica’s a real hog, believe me).
Jessica’s death was ruled out as homicide, and they quickly moved on, not wanting to get their hands dirty(so to speak).
Bernard and his gang, soon realizing the havoc they could wreak, formed an alliance known as the Killer Llamas. They quickly expanded across the US, and humans, being too lazy to do anything, soon realized the only thing that could stop them…ALPACAS.
Bernard, now old and weak, published an incendiary book known as “The Retardation Of Llamas”. For no apparent reason he did this; probably on account that he was senile, and probably gay. Shortly after the book was published, one of the most important Alpacas, Bob Marley, was assassinated. Luckily, Bob Marley knew this would happen, so he had formed an alliance known as the Freedom Fighters. Yeah, nothing Alpaca related. Quit crying.
Bob Marley’s death sparked a Llama-Alpaca war which lasted for 8 and a half years(some experts think it’s still going on, I think they’re stupid). When the war came to an abrupt halt in 1993, Bob Marley rose from the grave(he was actually only unconscious when he was struck over the head with a lead cylinder) and told them to “stop fighting, dammit, I’m trying to sleep”. The Llamas and Alpacas soon realized the errors of their ways, and laid down their arms. They then approached each other in a roar of laughter, hugs, and love.
So that’s it. The history of Alpacas. What were you expecting, some nuclear holocaust that crippled the enemy? YOU SICK BASTARD!!! Join us next week as we explore the history of Toasters…
Boy 2 is still banging his head and it was off to the doctor’s today. He said he is reluctant to increase any of the meds, as Boy 2 already tends to get quite sleepy, so we’re just going to wait and hope that he stops the head banging. He’s been tired all day today, but did absolutely brilliantly (I was worried about how this would go) on a trip out for groceries/gas/and to the library. Every time I returned home he was curled on the back seat snuggled underneath his jacket (which he is reluctant to part with for the summer) but he would wearily sit up and get out of car. Michell K. behavioral therapist arrived in the afternoon and said the cycling helmet was exactly what she would have recommended, I just wish the bruises were confined to his head – he also bumps his hip and back, both those areas have bruises also.
My diet is going quite well, in fact this is Day Six, which is the longest I have ever managed to stay on a diet. I was shocked to learn last week that I have high cholesterol, so I have been following the nutritionist’s guidelines and eating lots of fruit and veggies, hardly any bread. Today I had a white egg, scrambled, mixed up with some tuna and onion – it tasted very good, but then everything I eat now does, because I am so hungry all the time. I nibble on almonds, heart healthy peanut butter and fresh fruit. I also forced myself not to buy Altoids today at King Soopers.
Have only managed pitiful amount of writing now that Boy 1’s summer school is over, but I am also reading two good books so cannot blame Boy entirely, plus life is very busy coordinating everyones summer stuff. Miss W is at summer school now too, and struggling to keep a positive attitude. Last weekend Boy 1 and Miss went to an airshow, I’m going to see if I can post some pictures.
Thanks to an anonymous viewer tip, the Hyperliner bus was found! It was the exact variation I was looking for(but there are many more that would look nice in my collection; I’ll have to keep an eye out for them!). Thanks, Anonymous. We all here at home know who you are.
Sorry if my last entry gave you a headache BECAUSE I WAS TYPING LIKE THIS; I found the matter quite urgent, an emergency if you will. Anyways, I have obtained a photo of what this new Drag Bus looks like, please enjoy and I hope it helps you out if you have seen it.