I have been gearing up all week for a meeting with Boy 2’s teachers and staff from his school, quite nervous about how it would go because in the past whenever I have concerns I tend to end up not concerining them well or strongly enough and end up totally thrown by everyone being so nice and reassuring. Thinking about this did throw a slight cloud over the Christmas party at the library yesterday, but I had made Swedish raspberry almond bars and instead of the polite comments and endless chewing that usually goes on when I attempt to cook something, I had so many compliments and even a request for the recipe! This has really gone to my head and I am now poring over cook books and fantasizing about my own cooking show on the Food Channel.
The meeting took place today at 12.30, and Miss K., Boy 1’s behavioural therapist was there along with Laurie, friend and nurse with Tri-County. Mr W was also there with me. There was Boy 2’s rather clueless teacher, his OT (very nice) and speech therapist, whom I also liked, but there were a few others I really couldn’t understand why they were there, one Ms B. is some sort of special needs specialist whose sole purpose at the meeting seemed to be to cast doubt on every word I said and be fiercely defensive on the school’s behalf. It was a very stressful situation for me and there are so many formalities – for example, they cannot write into the IEP having Miss K visit Boy 2 each week at his school, without getting special permission from someone person unknown to me named Dan etc. The mysterious Dan’s permission was also needed for something else, and I finally said “who exactly is this person?”
Ms B replied that he was the Special Services director and Mr W became annoyed and had a mini-outburst at this point and demanded to know Dan’s full title and telephone number. Ms B said we had never met or heard of him because he only attended meetings when things were not going smoothly with the student and added very coolly that she was sorry and had not realized there was such a level of ‘upsetness’ over the services Boy 2 was receiving.
I said (in extremely frosty tones) that things were not going smoothly, as Boy 2 had lost toileting skills in the past few months, cried every day,escaped from the classroom, blackened both his eyes and been permanently scarred by another student that yes, there was quite a high level of ‘upsetness’. She looked taken aback, I think everyone did a bit, and I didn’t give a damn. Then some talk about strategies and how Boy 2 could have a more productive time in school followed, blah, blah, blah.
After the meeting the horrible, patronising Ms B approached me and shook my hand and apologised, saying she did not realize what a bad year it had been for Boy 2. I only just about managed to accept this apology gracefully, because if she didn’t know all about Boy 2’s situation what the hell was she doing at the meeting, giving so much input? I did say a warm goodbye to the speech therapist and OT, because they struck me as commited, interested people but I have very little confidence in anyone else involved in Boy 2’s education right now.
Arrived home with Mr W who was planning a quick trip to the grocery store, then coming back here and scooping up Boy 1 to take to Sioux City in the morning. While Mr W used the toilet, Boy 1 turned to me and to my horror said “Mrs W called and will be over in 10 minutes.”
Mr W cannot abide the other Mrs W and I knew it was imperative to get him out of the house, I was practically having a heart attack. Got rid of him just as Mrs W arrived, but then stressed the entire time she was here (with Mr W’s brother). She gave us cookies and a gift card to Target. I am only just starting to feel normal again, have had to take headache pills tonight due to threatening migraine/heart attack. Had very nice compliment from my ex sis-in-law, asking how I have managed to lose so much weight. Have I? I didn’t think it was that much but someone else commented at work last week that I now had visible cheek bones. I just said that I thought it was probably stress, which I think is true. Mr W was a huge fan of eating out and bucket-sized sodas, so I did often join in, but now I wouldn’t dream of eating at a fast food place alone or even taking the kids.
Am so glad this week is almost over! But it is strange to think I will now not see Boy 1 until January.